Discussion Group Summary: Tradwife Movement

Our discussion afternoon on the topic of ‘Trad Wives’ was one of the most-attended FCA discussions in a while with around 20 people joining. Below, we summarise the main discussion points. For more information, also check out the resources at the end of the summary!

What is a ‘trad wife’ and what is the trad wife movement?

Trad wife stands for traditional wife. The ‘trad wife movement’ refers to the growing cultural trend where women advocate for a return to traditional gender roles, often idealising the 1950s homemaker lifestyle. Supporters of this movement emphasize the importance of being homemakers, supporting their husbands as breadwinners and embracing domesticity as a core feminine ideal. While some women frame this as a personal choice or a rejection of modern societal pressures, the movement has drawn significant attention for its overlap with conservative patriarchal values that can reinforce rigid gender norms and social hierarchies. 

The movement (or trend) has gained a lot of traction through social media where trad wife influencers romanticise the aesthetics and lifestyle associated with being a ‘trad wife’. One big part of trad wife influencer content is cooking – specifically ‘making things from scratch’, such as bread, mozzarella and other food. The videos are aesthetically appealing and the women are well put together (although they do not necessarily accurately represent the clothing style from the 1950s – styles are diverse). 

The trad wife movement raises important questions about choice, privilege and systemic oppression. Feminism supports the right of women to make choices about their lives, including the decision to embrace a traditional role if this is voluntary and desired. However, it is important for us to examine how these choices are influenced by broader systems of power, such as patriarchy, capitalism and white supremacy. The trad wife movement often privileges white middle class women, for example, excluding those who cannot afford to live on a single income. The movement also romanticizes a past where women’s rights and autonomy were significantly restricted while it perpetuates harmful stereotypes about femininity and masculinity and widens the socioeconomic gap by creating inequalities in representation in the labour market. 

Challenging the capitalist system?

Withdrawing to the space of the home can be understood as a response to a capitalist system that increasingly makes it challenging women to juggle different roles – doing paid work on the capitalist labour market and performing the second shift of unpaid care work at home.Trad wives seeking refuge in the ideal of a peaceful family at home can be understood as a response to the stress and exhaustion that comes with daily life in capitalist society. 

In France, for example, the trad wives sentiment is responding to shortcomings of the social welfare system. In Spain, women are disenchanted by the last feminist movement that did not fulfill its promises. 

The promotion of traditional values that promise stability and safety for women who dedicate themselves to the home and family, answers to anxieties triggered by capitalism. The home is actually the least safe-place for women considering the rate of domestic violence. 

Moreover, more and more people have an increasing desire to have time and to learn ‘real life skills’ like baking bread. 

While the trad wife movement does not address these systemic reasons that make us all feel overwhelmed (both in the sense of making them visible or offering effective solutions), its appeal is responding to these systemic failures by promising to escape the systemic failures.

Trad wives don’t work – do they?

A paradox about trad wives influencers on social media that repeatedly has been pointed out is that they do exactly what they claim not do: paid work. A lot of time goes into producing social media content and with a certain follower base and reach, trad wife influencers earn money with this content. Even though one cannot know if this money goes to their own bank account and is at their own disposal, or their husbands, these women work and earn money – while incentivising their (female) followers to quit their jobs – and enter financial dependency by relying on their husbands for income. 

Another form of the trad wife might be even more financially disadvantaged: the stay at home girlfriend. A trad wife without marriage forgoes the little financial security a marriage can offer (when divorcing).

We do not want to forget that housework is very demanding and is not (monetarily) valued in many societies. In the infamous The Times interview with Hannah Neeleman (who does not self-identify as a trad wife but represents many of the described characteristics) – better known as Ballerina Farm – Hannah’s husband and father to her eight children explains how she cannot get out of bed for a week from time to time due to exhaustion. 

What about my social media?

As the trad wife movement is known as a social media phenomenon, we also discussed the power of social media, even more in light of the recent developments in the USA around Trump, Musk and Zuckerberg. As one participant said: This phenomenon is linked to social media and this is the discussion topic that attracted the most participants – which shows the power of social media and big media companies. Social media inspires, taps into our emotions – and can influence us subconsciously. While many think about leaving Musk and Zuckerberg-owned social media channels these days, it was also pointed out during the discussion that it is a privilege to not-be on social media – for many it is the only way to stay in touch with their loved ones. 

An online phenomenon?

However, trad wives also exist outside social media. In fact, we discussed if trad wives could even be called a “movement.” The patriarchal, capitalist model of the male breadwinner and the housewife who takes over all (care) responsibilities of the home is not a new movement, but (ideological) mainstream culture that continues to exist in many societies since its inception in the 20th century. It seems like it is being strengthened strengthened by authoritarian push-back and a Far-Right that gains force (again) in many countries. 

The trad wife often has (almost) all powerful positions – she is white, heterosexual, wealthy and has the heteronormative family. For example, the trad wife is not known in the queer-lesbian community. 

Another reason to challenge the notion of a movement is that trad wives are isolated, especially outside social media, and there is no ‘ trad wife’ community. It is not an organised (political) movement. 

Choice-feminism, agency and intersectionality

The trad wife phenomenon is closely linked to choice-feminism – and often triggers the question: is it bad to stay at home and be a housewife if this is your wish? While some trad wife influencers on social media might suggest it is a lifestyle in a choice-feminism mindset, reality looks different for many women. Not all women can choose whether or not to stay at home. For example, ultra-religious upbringing often leaves no choice for women. Here, an intersectional lens can offer a critical re-assessment of the choice-feminist claim. The trad wives as it is depicted on social media carries to middle class women who can afford to stay at home.

Challenging the movement & challenges for feminism

We concluded that the Left should offer an attractive alternative to the trad wife movement for women. We should address the failures of choice-feminism and liberal feminism. Part of this answer are good maternity leave regulations, accessible day care, public support for care etc. Women need a public welfare system that supports them in their challenges – we don’t need the solutions offered by ”girl boss” feminism which claims that women can “have it all” if they work hard enough.

Challenging the trad wife movement might also mean having more difficult conversations. While it is hard to maintain emotional capacities, these conversations (for example with white religious radicalised communities) should be held by the whole feminist movement to offer support to the people who are proximate to it. The feminist movement should not leave it on the shoulders of family members alone to have these discussions with each other. We also need the support of straight white men for the feminist movement by challenging the system that puts them in a privileged position.

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